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You might think with all the wrecks I see each day I’d get a little jaded, but the truth is I’m constantly finding new favorites to show the cats. (And then we laugh and laugh and have a little more of this here happy juice. Good times.)
In fact, this is my new favorite baby shower cake:
Why, you ask?
Well, for a start: “Congratoletionsj.” C’mon.
Next, it’s painfully obvious that the first baker stopped writing after “blandle,” forcing someone else to come along later and write “OF JOY!”
Which is kind of like tripping during a tap dance routine, falling off the stage into the orchestra pit – destroying the entire percussion section in the process – and then, while the audience is still waiting in shell-shocked horror to see if you’re still alive, popping up and throwing some frantic jazz hands for the big finish.
Can’t you see it?
[jazz hands] “OF JOY!!”
Oh, and did I mention the “blandle” bit? ‘Cuz while I’m not sure what that actually is, I’m pretty sure this must be one:
A butt? A belly? A headless, armless infant contortionist?
Nope.
It’s a BLANDLE, bee-yotches. Yep, you heard it here first. Tell your friends. (If only to warn them.)
And while you’re at it, tell John I needs me some more happy juice. Ring-a-ding-ding, farm boy!
[dropping mic]
PEACE. I’m out.
Thanks to Erin N., Shelley P., Suki, Eva, Mr. Snugglypants, Mrs. Whiskertickins, Sir Fuzzyknickerbottoms, & Oosawiddlewoveypiekins for being such a great audience.
*****
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